Introspective Reflections

Today has been another day of introspection. I had a theological, well, religious discussion with my father today and I think he may understand me a little more now. He seems to be more genuinely interested in my spiritual development now, not my spiritual conversion to some form of christianity. I had a discussion with a friend of mine about Reiki today. Reiki is the use of life energy, chi, ka, call it what you will, to heal mind, body and soul. He believes that all a person has to do is decide to start using reiki and they can use it. That the traditions and techniques of reiki are only there for people who need organization in their lives. I disagree. Reiki is an energy force. It is THE energy force, the source of life itself. It can be channelled, but it cannot be 'used'. You have to be trained in order to 'use' reiki to it's full potential. Reiki energy, from what I have learned through discussions with a reiki master and several attuned reiki practitioners, is a healing force that goes where it is most needed. You cannot tell Reiki what to heal, once you channel the Reiki energy into someone's life, it heals anything that needs healing. It's neither good, nor bad. It just is. The methods brought to America by Usui's students are the same methods used in Japan, and they work. I don't believe a person can just decide one day to start using Reiki and be able to channel it. I think the attunement aligns your chakras and, well...attunes your spiritual vibrations to those of Reiki energy. Like tuning a guitar, you can play a guitar without tuning it and you can just pick it up and play it, But without learning how to tune it, play it and respect it, it's never going to reach full potential. Reiki is the same way.

With my father being an attuned Reiki practitioner, several of my friends attuned, and one of my closest friends a Reiki Master, I was starting to think that maybe I should get attuned as well. The more I think about it though, the more i think I should wait. I don't think I have the time right now to devote to learning a healing system. I am working on myself right now and I don't think I can devote myself to helping other people until I feel that i am where I need to be. I think learning Reiki would be a bad idea while I am working on some really intense college classes, My Artwork, and studying up on energy work, Goddess mythology, Ritual elements, creation, and performance. I am also working on getting my Book of Shadows into an organized format so I can find things when I need them, I am writing my own recipies and working on some of my own ritual clothing ideas as well. Learning an intense, in depth healing system like Reiki would just about kill me. I think i am going to work with what I have on my plate right now and tackle new things when I get some room for em. "All things in moderation". Or so they say.

I have been learning a lot from people latley, and a lot about myself as well. I have an intense amount of gratitude to the people I have been spending time with because they are all helping me to become the person I am meant to be. I feel like I am well on my way to that goal. I am growing leaps and bounds spiritually, and I am even making choices to help further my career. I am setting up a booth of my artwork at the Omegacon Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention in March of 2008...which is like facing a huge fear for me. There are so many better artists than me, I am going to feel dwarfed by their talent. But at least I am making the effort right?

Hmmm...Is it possible, I wonder, to send "tendrils" of energy from yourself to someone else so that you can drain their energy constantly from a distance? Like an aquaduct of energy flow from one person to another over a long distance without their knowledge. Not that it is something that would be advisable, or even something I would ever attempt, but could it be done? Just one of the many things that run through my mind when I am sitting idly at home with no internet access, and no television. Thank the gods i have a laptop or I would go insane.

Sometimes I wonder would I have come as far spiritually as I have if I had stayed in Colorado? Would I have been able to overcome my anxieties? Would I have been married by now, would I be on drugs again? I wonder where I would be if I had stayed. Would I have advanced or backslid? What if what if what if.....I can what if myslef to death. I need to get some sleep. I have class in the morning and I have less than 8 hours until I have to get up. So I am going to close this blog out for now, and I'll update more later when I have something worth talking about.

Au revoir Blogland....Until next time.