Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Learning to Listen

As many of you may know, it's been a rough year for me and my family. Things haven't been this rough in a long time. It all started when I got sucked into a deep bout of depression, then it was like a chain reaction, my Grandmother passed away, my group took a hiatus and I hadn't celebrated a single Sabbat since Yule. I lost my car, the car we got from my Grandmother threw a rod, The floor in my bedroom collapsed and the house really started taking a turn for the worst. It has been a constant struggle to keep our heads above water, and now we have to move...and we have less than a month to do it.

So through all of this craziness, I started feeling like I needed someone to blame. I needed answers as to WHY all of this was happening and nothing I did was helping. None of the advice or support I got from friends made me feel any better at all, none of the music that usually cheered me up helped, and the depression was just getting ridiculously bad. One night, I was laying in bed trying to sleep and I had this crazy thing happen. I got an old Wilson Phillips song stuck in my head. Well, mostly just one line of the song..."You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness, You got yourself into your own mess." It was like someone put in an old cassette and just kept repeating the line over and over and over. It was driving me crazy and once I finally got to sleep, I just dismissed it offhandedly.

A couple of days after that, I got the song stuck in my head again... only a different part of the song. "No one can change your life except for you." I couldn't even remember at the time who the artist was that sang the song. It was just random various lines from the song that kept getting stuck in my head. Like an eerie episode of Eli Stone playing out in my head, only instead of George Micheal's 'Faith', it was Wilson Phillips 'Hold on.' And of course, I didn't actually SEE Wilson Phillips, just kept getting lines from one of her songs stuck in my head. Again, I dismissed it. Assumed I had heard the song on the radio and it was just some stray thought.

So, a couple of weeks later, I got a Rune Reading. The reading was basically a big cosmic "Shit or get off the pot" message from the divine. A message...an answer. I can't tell you exactly when the epiphany hit me, but when it did, it was like a brick smacked me upside the head. The summation of the epiphany was this...The divine, no matter if you call it God, Goddess, Creator, Great Spirit, etc, speaks to us in ways that we will understand. It's not always a voice, it's not always in 'signs' and in symbols...Sometimes, just sometimes, the voice of the divine can come through to you in the lyrics of an early 90's pop star. So, Keep your ears and eyes opened, and when you're asking for a sign, keep an open mind. It can come in very unexpected ways.

I am learning to listen, and not just listen, but to understand.  There have been several other messages sent to me in a similar method since the Wilson Phillips incident, but that one is the one that will stick with me as a reminder that even when you're feeling alone, and empty and completely void of faith in anything, That you're never truely alone, because you are a part of the divine, and whether you can feel it or not, they are there, guiding you in subtle ways, helping you grow into the person you are supposed to be. The big epiphany. :)


Saturday, January 7, 2012

10 Rules for Fat Girls

So I was given a book a while back and told that I NEEDED to read it. It's called "The Body Sacred." I've been thumbing through it, reading when I remember to do so, and I always feel more empowered and better about myself after I do.

Today while doing my wake up and read facebook stumble routine, I found this post by the same Author who wrote "The Body Sacred"; Dianne Sylvan. It's called 10 Rules for Fat Girls, and it really affected me in a positive way! So I thought I would share it here as well. :)

http://diannesylvan.com/archives/1358

Please read this article and TAKE IT TO HEART! :)